Saying No with Style
For many of us, the hardest assertiveness skill is the ability to say "no" when the situation requires it. We may feel threatened by a loss of respect, love or responsibility on the job when we say "no" to someone. It is possible to say "no" with grace and tact, following these guidelines:
- Be honest and direct.
- Don't make excuses.
- Remember that saying "no" shows self-respect.
When It's Especially Hard to Say "No"
Sometimes it's harder to say "no" to certain people. Check the people you have trouble saying "no" to. Then, in the space, describe a situation where you need to say "no" and write an assertive response:
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Children
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Spouse
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A friend
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A parent
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A coworker
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A neighbor
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Your boss
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Consider these situations:
| You are invited to go to the opera. You have no plans for that evening but you can't stand opera. | A coworker asks you to do his work for him. | You're asked to do something you don't feel qualified to do. |
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Dishonest Response
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| "I'm afraid I have other plans that night." | "I'd like to but I don't have the time." | "Sure. Piece of cake." |
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Indirect Response
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| "Can I let you know tomorrow?" | "Let me think about it and get back to you." | "Why don't you ask Jane?" |
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Assertive Response
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| "Thank you for inviting me, but I really don't care for opera." | "I'm sorry. I won't be able to do that for you." | "I'm not experienced with that, but I'll give it my best shot." |
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